No Ma'am

This is probably going to sound crazy. In fact, I know it sounds crazy. But, lately I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm getting older. No, 25, going on 26, is not old. It's not even the number that bothers me. It's what's happening to me. Just recently I've begun to feel a bit out of touch with the "young life". I don't always know what's in style and I feel too "grown-up" to wear certain things. I've been noticing lately that I get dressed in about one minute, without giving much thought to the clothes I put on. That's why I get to work, go the bathroom about mid-morning, and experience that "What was I thinking?" moment when I actually take a second to look in the mirror for the first time. I look down and realize that my socks don't match or that my shoes are beginning to look more like "geriatric wear" than than anything that resembles style. I think back to those pointy toed heels I wore just a few short months ago. Back then, beauty was just a little higher on the totem pole than pain.

I was sitting in the faculty meeting this week, when I looked down and realized that I had a large hole in the top of my sock. (Our faculy meetings are at the end of the day, so I had walked around all day with holey socks that resembled the color of aluminum foil.) I should never get dressed in the dark. So, after looking down during the meeting I realized I couldn't do anything about the intense silver (which I had mistaken for light gray) color of my socks. But, I nonchalantly tried to adjust my sock so that the hole didn't show, hoping nobody would notice.

I guess this happens to everyone once they begin to get a little older and have kids. Priorities change, free time disappears, basic grooming gets pushed aside at times. Probably way more often than most of us care to admit! I don't remember the last time I painted my nails or gave my eyebrows anything more than a quick pluck. Shaving my legs...ha, just ask Carl how often I do that!

Feeling out of style is no fun. But, that's not the worst part for me. Something has happened to me on two seperate occassions at the fitness center recently. The first time it happened, I was lifting weights in the corner. A guy, whom I thought didn't look that much younger than me, came up to me and said, "Ma'am did you drop this?" (By this he was referring to a key...but that's not important because that's not the part that bothered me) "Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am is what you say to your elders. Ma'am is what you say to people that are visibly older than you. I mean, I probably was 4-5 years older than him, but he wasn't suppossed to be able to tell by looking! Then, a few weeks later, it happened again with a different person.

So, I'm trying to accept it. I no longer look like a young college student. I look like a mother. I dress like a teacher. My clothes don't match and most of the time it takes me hours to even notice. Comfort is my top priorty. I am always covered in dribbles from Cale's sippy cup or his milk mustache. I constantly find cherrios stuck to me or pouring out of my car when I open the door. I live in hats on the weekends. Sometimes I don't even wear a bra to Wal-Mart. I just put on a sweatshirt jacket so that nobody can tell. On numerous occasions I have gone in stores without an ounce of make-up on (It's so bad that one of my student's parents didn't even recognize me...and I had her son last year.) I have truly become a part-time slob, gradually creeping towards full-time. Something has to be done!

Anyone want to sign me up for What Not to Wear? ;)