The Dreaded Awards Assembly

At the end of every nine weeks, our school, as most all schools do, honors students with an awards assembly. Oh the awards assembly. This is something I dreaded immensely when I started my teaching career. The thought of having to stand up in front of a crowd of people and speak into a microphone was horrifying to me. I can still remember that first assembly. I was visibly nervous, I'm sure. I had that "cold but sweaty" feeling the entire time I waited for second grade's turn. I could literally feel my heart beating inside my chest (I know, all that over a silly assembly, right?) Sometimes I wish I taught kindergarten. At least then, I wouldn't have the build up of waiting my turn. I can remember walking up to the microphone and saying that first name. "Whew, I got it out" And even managed to hide the quivering...in my voice, that is. After calling out a name we had to hand each student his/her certificate. I went to hand the first student the piece of paper and (to my horror) my hands were shaking so much I could barely get it into the hands of the student. Through all that dreading and panicking before the assembly, this was a problem I hadn't forseen, but would stress about before each assembly in the future. I tried so hard to mentally control my shakes, but it was impossible. (I knew there was a reason I didn't go into nursing. Wouldn't you love for me to give you a shot?)

As I continued calling out names, I had already mentally decided that everyone noticed, which only made me shake more. It was the best feeling in the world when I walked back to my seat, having called my last name. "Oh well,", I tried to tell myself, "At least nobody I was really close to was there to see...like my husband" (boyfriend at the time). That would have been the icing on the cake.

Guess what, it was the icing on the cake. I'll never forget how Carl and I were sitting on the couch one evening watching tv. We had only been dating a few months, so we were still in that self-conscious, nervous, giddy phase. "How do I look? Did I say something stupid? Does my breath stink?", You know, all those things we worry about when we start a new relationship. As we were flipping through the channels, I suddenly heard Carl laugh. I looked up, and there I was...standing in the London auditorium...calling out my names. I only thought it couldn't get any worse. Of course, to Carl, this was the funniest thing ever and he refused to change the channel, even with my mad dash to grab the remote, until my part was over.

This was the moment I began to HATE public access TV. FYI: The assembly must have been a hit because it aired several more times over the course of the next few weeks. Are we really that hard up for local entertainment?

So tomorrow, I get to make my way to the front of the cafeteria and speak. I get to experience those unexplainable jitters. I actually get to feel my heart beat. I get to sweat while being cold. I get to shake for unknown reasons. I just have one thing to ask. Please don't tape it.