These days we've been spending much of our time outside...partly because of the warm weather and longer days...partly because the boys are way more content outdoors...partly because it's a chance for me to get a tan on this pasty body of mine...and partly as an attempt to keep my house from becoming any messier than it already is. If my boys are inside for very long, every single tub of toys ends up dumped out on the floor, but never actually played with; couch cushions are strewn about randomly; Pots and pans are removed from their place in the cabinets; The house can go from clean to tornado-aftermath in 0.2 seconds.


The other day when I got home with the boys, as I walked in the door I noticed that the air freshener and wooden vase from the bathroom were lying on the floor. Keaton. No question, it was Keaton. His ambition in life is to remove things from their designated place. The minute I start picking up the things he has scattered, he moves on to other things. It's a vicious cycle and it keeps me on my toes. He must have done it this morning after Cale and I left when Carl was getting ready for work. A few minutes later that afternoon, I walked into Keaton's room, which is all the way across the house. I found a toilet brush and the little plastic holder it sits in lying on Keaton's floor. Grossed out, I took it to the boys' bathroom which is right outside of Keaton's room. But, of course when I got in there, I realized the brush did not belong in this bathroom. Keaton had carried it all the way across the house, I'm sure just dripping and oozing all over the place, probably licking it the whole way, and ended up dropping it in his room. Cale collects trains and tractors, and Keat collects toilet brushes. I guess we all have our hobbies. Maybe he'll be a plumber? Or a custodial person? Or just gross...


A few months ago, I wrote about Cale embarrassing me in Wal-Mart when he tried to pull my shirt up and touch my "boobies", as he called them, quite loudly. Last Friday after school I took him for a quick shopping trip...which is something I have pretty much never done. I am 99.9% sure that he is not a good shopper, so I just avoid the potentially bad situation altogether. But, that day I decided it was take him with me, or never go shopping. He was completely amazed with the clothing racks and spent all of this time trying to get out of my sights, which of course made it hard to shop. I kept losing him, then finding him. At one point we were walking past the lingerie section of the store. Cale held out his hand, and while touching every bra we passed chanted, "Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies." Every single bra. And the more I whispered, "Cale, stop saying that!", of course the more he wanted to say it and the louder his voice got. I really think he's figured out it embarrasses me. I'm just waiting for the day it embarrasses him...hopefully it will.


I know I'm a broken record, but life with our two boys is completely chaotic. I love it. I absolutely love it. But, man can it get any more tiring? Just a few days ago, I rushed to the gym after school, got a quick work out in; rushed to pick the boys up; Cale from his school and Keaton from his babysitter's house; hurried inside to start dinner...which lately often consists of something bagged or boxed. On this day, out of guilt, I decided I would actually cook a meal. So, I got started on lasagna. Once I finally got everything all together and in the oven, I sat down on the couch to relax. (Ha, there is not relaxing while they boys are awake) Five seconds later, in walks Keaton holding a big handful of white stuffing. Like the kind that goes in pillows and cushions. I glanced up, at first not thinking much about it. Then, it hit me that this was not normal. Of course we don't just have stuffing lying around, so that meant that something had been destroyed in order for the white fluff to be in Keaton's hand.


My first thought was to just sit on the couch and hope for the best. But, then I came to my senses and ran into the playroom. The floor was covered with every single couch cushion and pillow from our couch. Annoying? Yes, somewhat. I get awfully tired of putting the couch back together every day. But, what was more annoying was the mound of stuffing that had been pulled out of one of the cushions. Seriously it was everywhere. Cale, our three year old had to be guilty of the unzipping, but both boys had a part in scattering the stuffing.


This afternoon, I heard Carl calling my name...which usually always means that the boys did something bad. I'll tell you the truth. Sometimes I pretend I don't hear him in hopes that he will just give up and take care of it himself. Occasionally that works. But today he kept calling me, so finally I went to check things out, hoping it wasn't a highly explosive diaper emergency, as it often is. Keaton had somehow gotten a big bundle of grapes out of the fridge and they were strewn out all over the playroom floor and smushed into the carpet. There were at least twenty grapes that had been stepped on and ground into the carpet. Darn it, why couldn't it have just been a diaper issue? Good thing I picked my carpet well...it doesn't show a thing. The bad thing is...since it doesn't show anything, there's no telling what lies beneath the surface. Ewww.


Things like this happen all day, every day. We love our boys to pieces, even if they never let us rest or let the house remain clean.


Parents: You want birth control for your teenage or college kids? Send them our way. We'll lock them in the house with our two monsters for a few hours. It will work. I can almost guarantee it.