1st Meltdown...Many More to Come I'm Sure...

Well, I've officially had my first meltdown as a parent of two. I was pretty tired yesterday because Keaton is still keeping me up a lot at night. For some reason he just doesn't want to sleep at night! And I'm not a good napper at all so I've been having trouble catching up on sleep. Well, yesterday for some reason I started feeling guilty about sending Cale to the babysitter. Since they were talking about bad weather I decided to have Carl pick Cale up on his way home from lunch. When Cale walked in at about 12:30, I was feeding Keaton and all was well. After about an hour, I decided to put Cale down for a nap. He's been sleeping in the crib again since we couldn't get him to stay in his toddler bed. Ever since he's been back in the crib, life has been great. He's been easily going to sleep and sleeping through the whole night through. Well, after I put Cale down I went back to Keaton who had already been crying for about an hour. I held Keaton and tried to calm him down as I listened to Cale talking on the baby monitor. He talked and talked for over 30 minutes. The whole time I'm having to hold Keaton to keep him from being fussy. Suddenly it got quiet. In walked Cale. I couldn't believe it. Somehow he managed to make my nightmare come true. He figured out how to crawl out of his crib. Don't get me wrong, he's known how to crawl out of a crib for quite some time now, but we had put a stop to it by placing the crib mattress all the way on the floor...which looks a little redneck but it got the job done.

As I sat there, open-mouthed looking at Cale, all these thoughts began running through my mind. Thoughts of two little ones up at night, thoughts of no more napping for my two-year old, thoughts of "the battle of wills" that I knew was going to take place the minute we put him back in his toddler bed. Suddenly I felt very defeated. The whole time Keaton is still fussing. So, I took Cale into his room and told him that we were going to try the big boy bed again. I gave him a long talk about staying in bed and told him that if he slept in his bed he would get a treat when he woke up. Yes, I've resorted to bribery. You gotta do what you gotta do. Well, Cale lasted a whole 2 minutes before he came out. I spanked him and took him back to his room. He lasted about 2 more minutes. We repeated this about 3 times and then I finally put him back in the crib. I don't really know why because obviously he can crawl out...but I was desperate. I stuck him in there and didn't give him the usual sippy cup, 'Little Mickey', 'Big Mickey', blanket, and 'Cow-Cow' that he always asks for. At this point I was getting pretty upset with our little guy. I told him "DO NOT GET OUT OF THIS BED". Well, if you know Cale you know that...he got out of the bed. As he walked out I said, 'Cale I told you not to get out of that bed." He replied, and I promise he said it with a smirk, "I know you did". Well, that was it. That went all over me. I scooped him up, spanked him harder than ever and on bare skin, and got onto him in my most scary, teacherish voice. He immediately began bawling and crying. I tossed him in the crib and left without looking back. Cale cried for about 15 minutes, but surprisingly went to sleep.

In some ways I felt like I had won. I had finally intimidated him enough that he gave up. But, at the same time I hated the way it felt to have to yell at him that loudly and spank him that hard. But, Carl (being a strong-willed child himself) says that we are going to have to be so strong with Cale...or else he'll begin running the show.

I sat there holding Keaton as he fussed the whole time Cale slept. When Cale woke up, I guess he was a little ticked off at me because he fussed and cried for about 20 minutes. So, both boys were screaming and wanting to bed held. Cale had drained me from the crib incident and Keaton had already been fussing for hours. Suddenly I just started crying. I know, I'm the mom...I'm not suppossed to cry. But, I just lost it for a few minutes. Thankfully, Cale got over it and at about 4:00, I got Keaton to go to sleep and to actually let me put him down.

I guess moments like these are why people say having two kids is so hard.

On a side note, I guess I got my bluff in on Cale because he stayed in his toddler bed all night and even called for us to come get him when he woke up this morning (unheard of for Cale!) And Keaton got to sleep in his own room in his own crib for the first time last night and it was pretty successful!

So, as a parent there will be bad moments but those moments are usually followed by some pretty good moments, too.