The Poopetrator is Back...Bigger and Badder than Ever

So, my worst nightmare has pretty much officially begun. You know, it's bad enough having to change dirty diapers. Especially the older a baby gets. And it was bad enough having to collect samples of Cale's dirty diapers when he was sick. But, now Cale has taken it to a new, even more disgusting level. For the past few months he's been fixated with putting his hand down his pants. Not the Al Bundy, front of the pants pose, but the back of his pants. Well, I'm sure you know where this is going. Lately, the minute he...I'm sitting here trying to think of a proper way to say it, but I'm just going to go ahead...poops, his hand goes to the back of his diaper. He's so speedy about it and it's almost impossible to catch him before it happens. He usually lets a big, "Uh-Oh" and walks in with a super guilty look on his face. I mean, we talk about how nasty and yucky poop is and he loves to act like it's so disgusting as you change his diaper. But, when he gets the chance and nobody is looking, he starts digging like it's buried treasure. Honestly this has been happening at least twice a day lately. Well, at one point this evening, my house had the looks of a crime scene, equipped with handprints, smears on windows, oh yeah a detective's dream. Yes, my just-cleaned-because-company-was-coming house, was now covered in small, smelly handprints. While I was showering this afternoon, Carl was watching Cale. Well, I guess not exactly watching him the entire time because Cale walked into the room Carl was in and showed him his hand. Little did we know, he left his imprint several places before finally turning himself in. So, Carl cleaned him up, first time he's had the honor of catching Cale with the "stink hand". And we thought all was well. As well as it can be when your kid is fixated on poop.

So, as I was putting the finishing touches on the house (aka picking up the random tractors, balls, blocks, etc. that make their way all around the house) I noticed my front windows looked really dirty. Hadn't I just cleaned them yesterday? As I got closer it hit me. I could see the imprint of what looked like a small, grubby hand that had been dragged down the window. Both windows actually. And the window sill. Thankful I caught it before company came over, I rushed to get some cleaning tools. As I cleaned, the smell was somehow released into the air. Yeah, it was nasty. But, I got it cleaned and nobody would have ever known that just minutes before the windows were covered in baby poop. Of course, I secretly thought about it as we all sat eating chocolate cake (how ironic), drinking coffee, and gazing out the windows at the sunset. But, I didn't mention a thing to anyone! My little secret.

So, tonight after everyone was gone and the dishes were put in the dishwasher, I sat down to relax on the couch. As I glanced over I noticed one of the pillows that I just bought for the couch. Was that a brown handprint? Oh yes, on my new pillows. I can only imagine what else Cale touched that we don't know about. Sometimes I wish we had an indoor dog. Kinda like a drug dog for the police department except that this dog wouldn't be hunting drugs. Hopefully he could just locate "affected areas" for us. Because I'm going to feel very silly going around sniffing things. But, I'm afraid it must be done because I can't stand the thought of lingering poop hands. Some things I can overlook...but this...I don't think so.

So, hopefully we will get through the poop addiction, even if it means having some kind of intervention. We've already tried a few things we read about on the Internet (thankfully Cale is not the only child out there with this problem). But, so far the tactics don't seem to be working too well. I think our little guy just loves being nasty.